Yes.I am.Back.

This is one of my favorite Eheads songs.Cheesy but sweet.

Wag Kang Matakot

Wag kang matakot
Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako
Sa iyong tabi
Di kita pababayaan kailanman

At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin
Ay sasaluhin kita
Wag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Wag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Wag kang matakot ah.....
Wag kang matakot

Dahil ang buhay ay walang katapusan
Makapangyarihan
Ang pag-ibig na hawak mo sa iyong kamay

Ikaw ang diyosa't hari ng iyong mundo
Matakot sila sa'yo
wag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
kasama mo naman ako
wag kang matakot umibig ta lumuha
kasama mo naman ako
wag kang matakot na magmukang tanga

kasama mo naman ako
wag kang matakot sa hindi mo pa makita
kasama mo naman ako
wag kang matakot ah
wag kang matakotdi mo ba lam nanadito lang ako

sa iyong tabi
di kita pababayaan kailan man
wag kang matakot
di kita pababayaan kailan man(repeat until fade)

Pisay.

Regional Science High School in Olongapo City will always be the one of best high schools for me. Eventhough I did not finish my high school there since my family moved to Manila,I would say that this institution taught me a lot - not only with academics but about life in general.I will always be proud that I have been part of this school.

Isa sa mga paborito kong pelikulang indie (independent films) ay ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros ni Auraeus Solito. Inabangan ko ang pelikula niyang Pisay at sa pagkakataong ito,masasabi kong hindi niya ako muling binigo sa inaasahan ko.

Habang pinapanood ko ang pelikula,hindi ko maiwasang maalala ang naging buhay ko sa Sci-High (o Science High School).Ang bawat eksena ay tunay na paglalarawan ng mga nagiging buhay ng mga kabataang pumapasok sa isang pang-agham na eskuwelahan o kahit sa isang regular na hayskul- kung gaano kahirap at kasarap ang maging estudyante, ang kilig at pait ng unang pag-ibig, ang pagpili ng karera o kurso bago magkolehiyo, ang pagharap sa krisis politikal ng bansa.

Hindi kailangang nagaral ka sa Pisay para lubusang maappreciate ang ganda ng pelikula.Makikita natin ang sarili sa bawat karakter ng pelikula- ang mahirap,ang mahina sa Math, ang pasista,ang coñio, ang henyo, ang artist, at iba pa.Sinasabi rin ng pelikula, na silang Pisay (o mga henyo) ay katulad din natin.

Mahusay ang nagsiganap na artista sa pelikulang ito lalo na si Eugene Domingo, na isang Physics teacher.Ang mga batang artista na nagsiganap na estudyante ay mahuhusay din.Kapuri puri ang pelikulang ito ni Auraeus Solito.

Bumalik tayo sa high school.Ang mga karanasan na ibinigay nito sa atin,ang bawat araw na komplikado man, malungkot, masalimuot o masaya ay tunay na masarap balikan hanggang sa ngayon.

Panoorin natin ang Pisay.

Alas it's finished.It's complete.

There is this something
I’ve always been searching
I’ve looked in all places
The same old facesAh.. ah

But now it’s different
‘Cause I’ve finally found
The missing piece
In YouIn You
In you
In youAt last it’s finished
It’s complete

~FIN by Pupil

Here comes the rain again

"Wait 'till it rains...

Because the weather defines the people who go and get their own umbrellas,

and those who stay with you under the rain."

This was a text message forwarded to me by my friend Viel this morning.Very true.

2008.First entry.

It's been a while.I have been longing to write for quite sometime.I am not really sure if I was just too busy doing a lot of things lately or I just simply lost the interest to write.I honestly think that there's a lot of things that I wanted to say but I just don't know how to say it.

2008 had a good start. Before the year 2007 ended, I went to Baguio with some friends from PEx.we decided to stay in La Trinidad,Benguet, which is just 20-30 minutes away from the city.We decided not to stay in the city because the sight there was really disgusting and disappointing (pollution , traffic,garbages everywhere, foul smell of the air etc).We all agreed that Baguio is not the same as it was a few years ago.

We had our lunch at Rosebowl (very good food ), we also went to Strawberry farm, we cooked using the fresh veggies we bought from Baguio Market and we decided to swim somewhere in Asin Benguet.I had my first experience of sulphuric swimming pool, which they say is therapeautic.I find it weird that we went all the way to Baguio to swim on a cold December.But I dont care, it was fun.I had a great time with the company I was with and it made me forget all the not so good things that happened in 2007.

By the last week of January, I was invited to go to Quezon by my good friend Genesis to celebrate his Birthday. It was my first time in Quezon and I had a great time too.I felt really close to nature that time,I did appreciate the beauty of the province, the green surrounding,the mountains,the fields,it was really relaxing to see these things.The house where we stayed in is on a hill,there was a pool where the running water came all the way from Mount Banahaw.I also enjoyed the food that were served , they were all fresh and healthy. We also went to Kamay ni Hesus Healing Church in Lucban, where I made a wish when I reached the huge statue of Jesus on top of the mountain after climbing hundred steps.The trip to Quezon was really memorable.

A week after the Quezon Trip, my best buddy John and I went to a beach somewhere in Laiya Batangas.I have been to a lot of beaches already but I would consider San Juan beach as one of the beach beaches I've been so far.

It was so relaxing even if you'll just sit somewhere in this beach,watch the sea and listen to the waves or just wait for the sun to set in the late afternoon.There's a lot to do here but my favorite one will be watching the sunset.Emote di ba?Hahaha.It was also my first time to try kayak-ing and it was really fun. Ang sakit nga lang sa katawan.Haha.
I dunno but there is something in that place that makes me want to come back.
We went to Tagaytay after that and dined at Gerry's to celebrate John's Birthday.

I wish I can write more and hoping that i have the luxury of time and passion to narrate everything that's been happening in my life lately,but I would have to stop here.2008 had a good start and I hope it will stay that way until the year ends.Here's to fabulous 2008 everyone! :)

There is grace in waiting

I will be part of the Quality Monitoring team starting today.I am actually excited since I will work with a different department but at the same time, I am quite sad since I have to leave my team.But I have to move on,this change is something I need to accept in order for me to grow as a person.

Looking back, I felt that everything happened so fast. I remember how upset I was because I did not get the schedule that i wanted a month ago.I was disappointed because I know my place in the team.I was one of the top performers.I don't have any late nor absences on the previous month.I felt that what my co-employess used to tell me is probably true,that the best people in this company are never being rewarded or recognized no matter how much effort they give.

I was crying when I was composing my resignation letter.I have been working here for about three years.Most people are complaining about the salary, the management and the lack of opportunity for growth.But I decided to stay.Now just like them I have to leave to find a place where I think I will not only grow but will also be happy and fulfilled.Most of my teammates were actually surprised about my decision.I am the employee who is most unlikely to resign.I always tell them I am happy and there is no reason to leave the company.

I think that is one of the most difficult decisions I made in my life.I passed my resignation letter.I was given a week to think if I should retract it or not.I was being emotional that time and if my heart will be the one to decide about it, it will say I should go.But I listened to my mind.I retract the resignation letter before the effectivity date.

A friend accompanied me to a church in which he said is miraculous.My folks used to tell me that if it was your first time to see the church, you have to make a wish.I told God that if there's a miracle I wanted to see in my life, it will be a change in direction in my career life and my relationships with other people. I don't know if it's just mere coincedence but one of my wishes came true.

A week after , a party was organized by the program to recognize the top performing agents .I was one of the few people who have been recognized.That made my team captain encouraged me to apply for the Quality assurance analyst position.That also made me realized that the effort I gave were actually not left in vain.To make the long story short, I passed the screening and I will be working for the QA department starting today.

I remember my interview with the manager of the department.One of his questions was, what took me so long for apply in the position.For lack of sensible answer I told him what my friend told me about waiting for the perfect time. I said,there is grace in waiting.I could not understand that concept before.

Now it all makes a lot of sense.

My current state

To you,

I hope everything's doing good on your end.I hardly slept this morning after that talk we had.Well to tell you,its been like that for a week.I tried to pretend I am ok thinking that I can handle this but the truth is what I am going through right now is not easy.I still don't know what to think, I am still clueless how to deal with this.

You said you are confused.That there have been a lot of realizations lately about yourself.That it was only recently that you've learned that your being inconsistent about your feelings will just bring me a lot of heartache.You also told me that you are bombarded with a lot of problems-about your family, your work and then me.I am pretty sure they're giving you a lot of headaches and pressure.And I know its not easy either.

I wanted to tell you that I am somehow disappointed for your insensitivity and for not trusting me when I wanted to share your pain in times that you're really down.I also hate it when you keep everything to your self and not telling me things that I need to know.I remember you said one time that you are willing to share your life with me.I also wanted to do the same to you.I want to be there for you anytime.I want to share not only your joy,dreams and passion but your trouble, your fears and pain.I always wanted to be the one who makes you smile,who pushes you to the top to be the best of what you can be and symphatize with your needs.In my prayers I am asking God to give me a chance to to be at your side and to grow with you.

Please dont assume that I already know how you feel.It was you who said that I don't know you that much.We have an agreement that if there will come a time that any of us does not want to continue whatever we have right now, we'll tell each other right away.I am begging for your honesty.

If it takes letting you go for a while, I'll do that. I will not pretend I'm not hurting, because I am.I have accepted a long time ago that the moment you love someone you have given him the capacity to hurt you, that how much you hurt is equal to how much you have loved, that getting hurt is proportionate to having too many expectations.I am not asking you to change for me.All I am asking is for you to have a little faith and respect in me.No one has the right to tell you to change.You have the solid dominion over your own feelings and nobody, even myself, has the right to trample on it. I respect you're entirety and that includes whatever is in your mind, soul and heart.

I may not be ok right now but no worries, no pressure. I'll be fine and alright in another sunny day.We are still cool and I’m looking forward to seeing you again.I wanted to talk, clear things up once and for all.

Wherever life may lead us from here,I will say good luck to both of us.